Intervening During Oppressive Moments

By Lisa Marie Alatorre

Inevitably when talking about how power and oppression are playing out all around us, I am asked for a “how to” intervene when an oppressive moment is happening. I wish there was a step by step approach that I was about to share, but the fact is that intervening takes practice and requires a genuine approach rooted in your own authenticity. I do think there are some practices to strengthen this muscle and build some bravery. But taking the risk, being uncomfortable, or hearing your own voice shake is really what it takes to disrupt oppression.

One place I suggest folks begin is by increasing your understanding of all the ways that oppression looks. Oppression can be explicit (ie: hateful language or art, physical violence, bullying, and threatening comments or actions) but often times is subtle and unintentional. Oppression can be both intentional or unintentional; either way, the impact is the same. And while subtle oppression is often unintentional, it doesn’t mean that accountability isn’t just as important as when it is an explicit experience of harm. Some examples of ways I see subtle oppression, sometimes on a daily basis:

• Gender Assigned Bathrooms

• Representation in Leadership and Decision Making Positions

• Accessibility Limitations: flights of stairs to get to a space, materials all in English, etc.

• Under-handed Treatment or Seemingly Non-Threatening Comments: "Your hair is/your people are so exotic." “I like her but she’s so intense/emotional all the time.”

• Minimizing Histories of POC and Oppressed People:

  o   White person: "Racism happened long before I was born so it has nothing to do with me."

  o   Cultural appropriation -- turning cultural/spiritual practice into fashion and costume, often with no idea of the history.

• Not Being Aware of One’s Privileges:

o   White folks asking POC to help them understand racism.

o   Cis-gendered folks asking genderqueer and transgender folks about gender affirming surgeries/hormones/transitions.

o   Wearing heavy chemicals/perfumes in public spaces.

This list is by no means exhaustive but offers a quick nuanced perspective of what oppressive moments can look like beyond violent or explicit moments. In both subtle and explicit moments, the worst thing to do is nothing. That doesn’t mean that confrontation is required in every situation, there are a number of ways interventions can look, including after the fact or centering the healing and empowerment of the person experiencing the harm.

If the oppressive moment is being directed at you:

1. Check-in With Yourself: Is it a safe situation for me to be assertive? Do I have/need allies around me (people who can help+support me as I assert my power)? What short/long term consequences may be at play? Listen to your intuition. Safety is the most important, and if you are experiencing harm, getting  yourself to safety may be the best intervention.

2. Explain What Happened and the Impact: If you determine it is safe to engage, be as clear as you can. “That comment you just made is racist/sexist/homophobic and it makes me and the people around us uncomfortable.” Sometimes directness can be enough to stop them immediately, it might also escalate the situation. Be prepared to share the example(s). Sometimes this can be a battle with no end and the best you can do is plant seeds...sometimes you might walk away feeling more empowered. That alone can be a victory!

3. Center Your Own Healing and Transformation: If you decide to not engage, there is still healing and transformative work you can do, whether with others or just for yourself. Can you plan an intervention (i.e.: a few key phrases to practice) for the next time? What other ways can you fight back and have power? Can you impact the conditions that made the oppression possible in the first place?

If the oppressive moment is subtle:

1.     Find Your Most Useful Approaches: Sometimes the intervention can also be subtle. Humor, compassion, directness, and simplicity are often useful components but only when genuine.

2.     Name The Structural Oppression As Well As the Concrete Moment: It is important to name the harm as clearly as possible because subtle moments are often brushed off as insignificant. “I know you meant that catcall as a compliment, but because of rape culture and anti-black racism, it may have been experienced as misogynistic and racist.”

3.     Use Concrete Examples: Don’t be afraid to bring up a few examples from the past (whether personal or not) as learning opportunities to help people see what’s possible and change behaviors/patterns.

If you are bystanding or witnessing the oppressive moment:

Bystanding is incredibly active; there is so much intervening, story-sharing, allying that you can do.

1. If You Have A Shared Identity With the Person Engaging In Oppressive Behavior: Especially if you are coming from a place of a shared experience with accessing power and privilege, it can be really powerful to address the situation directly. Sometimes people can only hear it from someone who feels safe.

2. Engagement May Mean Mediation or De-escalation: The next most important thing is to be able to engage with the person. If they argue back or snap back, see if there is a way to calmly re-direct the conversation without escalating yourself or them. If it gets escalated, take deep breaths, staying grounded, keep your body language mellow, and take steps back or away if you need to. Keep your words and feedback simple and in single sentences.

3. Support The Person Experiencing the Harm: Checking-in with them and helping them get what they need is important. This is sometimes the best thing you can do, especially if you can’t engage with the person causing harm.

4. Follow-up After The Fact: If you know either party, this is a useful strategy – especially if you are not able to intervene in the moment. Both the person engaging in the oppressive behavior and the person experiencing it will benefit from follow-up.

Lastly, PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. It really takes a considerable amount of practice before this feels second nature and how you walk through the world. Once you begin to develop this muscle and your personal approach starts to feel comfortable in your body+mind, you will find it hard to NOT intervene when you see oppressive moments happening. Like I said earlier, the worst thing you can do is nothing. 

** Much of my analysis was developed through hands on experience. Some of the materials I share here were inspired by Laura Guzman and the Rhizome Consulting Project.

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